Friday, March 5, 2010

{M-H-O} Letter to Shiv Sainiks by a Stupid Common Man




Dear Mr Shiv Sainik,
Your agitation against Shah Rukh Khan, Rahul Gandhi, Mukesh Ambani and Sachin Tendulkar turned out to be as riveting as a deflating balloon. Nobody paid heed to your leader's call, least of all we Bombay /manoos /who you have turned into a kind of experimental guinea pigs in the political laboratory. What kind of wishy-washy, spineless, sloppy fellows are you! Sorry, Mr Shiv Sainik, the nation did not want an apology from SRK - far from it. They just want good, edge-of-the- seat cricket. And the nation showed what they think of your fading leader by making SRK's film the biggest grosser in Bollywood. What Rahul G gave you gentlemen was a resounding slap-in-the- face by doing what your leader has never done - Rahul mingled freely with the ordinary /manoos/ in Bombay. Sachin endeared himself to the whole country by proclaiming that he was an Indian first. As for Mukesh Ambani, please await the next chapter.
Now let me tell you why some countries are great and the others are not. This will perhaps appeal to you, if you have progressed beyond high school. You have probably heard of a country called USA - it is the most powerful nation in the world today. It is so because of the way it allows the human potential to flower and flourish. Leaders - in politics and in business - in the US come from all parts of the world. If you ever were an avid newspaper reader (real newspapers, not the Saamna variety) you will recall that there was a man called Henry Kissinger. He was a German refugee from the Holocaust, and he became Secretary of State. That Mrs Indira Gandhi gave him a bloody nose during the '71 war is another story. But let me give you an example that you would probably relate to better. You surely have seen Arnold Schwarzenegger' s films. He flexes his biceps and can put Salman K to shame - iconic and breath-taking stuff for your stone-throwing, public property-destroying foot-soldiers. He migrated from Austria about 40 years ago determined to make it big in the US. Arnold is presently Governor of California. And there are several Indians in Obama's (he happens to be the President of the US) administration, including a few Marathi /manoos/ (No, Please, Al Gore is NOT a Marathi /manoos/). And their contribution to American society and economy is just enormous.
Now try to picture this. Bombay accounts for about 35% of the income tax collections of the country. This you probably know. What you probably do not know is that companies pay income tax in the city where their registered offices are situated. Now just imagine - and please try to do so seriously because we are not talking /kaanda bhajiya/ but real big mega stuff - what would happen if the big 3 suddenly decided to shift their registered offices to Baroda, or Bangalore, or Delhi? Do you recall the downfall of Calcutta when Charu Mazumdar and his naxalite thugs ran amok there? And the ruins of Uganda when Big Boy Idi Amin threw out the Indians? In economic terms it's called flight of capital. The Tatas called Mamta didi's bluff and shifted the Nano project lock, stock and barrel to Gujarat. That left Bengal gasping for breath. Mukesh Ambani is already talking of shifting his registered office to Jamnagar . . . I leave the rest to your imagination.
--
Jai Hind

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