{M:H:O} Time Pass jokes

A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?" He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron." The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?" He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!" ************ ** A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic." 2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!" ************ ** A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!." The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor." ************ ** A doctor said to his car mechanic, "Your debit is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every year." ************ ** The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor." "Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?" "Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company." ************ ** "The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill." ************ ** A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room. Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor said, "Where?" He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?" ************ ** A woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital, said, "Hello, I want to know if a patient is getting better." The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's name and room number?" She said, "Yes, darling! She's Sarah Finkel, in Room 302." He said, "Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday." The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! That's fantastic! That's wonderful news!" The man on the phone said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very close friend!" She said, "I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Cohen, my doctor, doesn't tell me a word!" ************ ** An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him. After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time. "But doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Dad hasn't walked in overa year!" sanskriti

__._,_.___

Visit Our WebSite : www.MumbaiHangout.Org

             Forum : www.MumbaiHangout.net

Our Friends Network: http://social.mumbaihangout.org/home.php

------------------
DISCLAIMER :
------------------


This message serves informational purposes only and should not be viewed as an irrevocable indenture between anyone. If you have erroneously received this message, please delete it immediately and notify the sender at MumbaiHangOut-Owner@yahoogroups.com. The recipient acknowledges that any views expressed in this message are those of the Individual sender and no binding nature of the message shall be implied or assumed unless the sender does so expressly with due authority of The M.H.O. Group. M.H.O. reserves the right to repeal, change, amend, modify, add, or withdraw the contents herein without notice or obligation.
---------------------------------------------------
Note:- MHO is Not Responsible For Any Claims.
---------------------------------------------------

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___