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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

{M:H:O} The Unique Indian ‘Q’ and my wife



The Unique
� Indian 'Q' and my wife

http://holidaydecorationsandcollectibles.com/images/IndianCouple1.JPG
Judged by the snail's pace
at which the dreams of
a decent existence are realised,
Indians
must obviously be the
most patient people in the world.
But
this monumental patience is conspicuous
� by its absence in a queue
which makes Indian queues unique.

http://marichulambino.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/photographer-not-named-pakistanis-wait-in-line-to-receive-food-as-aid.jpg
This uniqueness of 'Q' behaviour,
� common to all Indians
� is the best evidence of our heavily
� hyped unity in diversity.

The world over,
a queue is meant to be a line of people
standing one behind another,
� keeping a respectable distance
between them;
but
not so in India.
http://www.ssa.gov/deposit/img/directdeposit.gif
Here,
it could be a small or a big crowd of
pushing, pulling, jostling, elbowing and,
therefore,
� profusely sweating people yelling
at one another for no obvious reason
other than reaching the counter ahead of others.
Be it a railway station or a post office,
� if there is no pigeonhole
at the counter where business is transacted,
it is a sure recipe for total anarchy.
http://publib.boulder.ibm.com/infocenter/radhelp/v6r0m1/topic/com.ibm.etools.animgif.doc/images/skiing.gif
If you happen to belong to the rare species
� of sticklers for the normal 'Q' manners and,
therefore,
want to join the 'Q' by taking
your position behind the last man,
� you are in for a big shock because you
will never locate the head or tail of
this apology for a 'Q'.
http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/willow/ant-info2.gif
All you can see is a crowd
� leaning over the counter with
craning necks and outstretched hands
waving money,
or
whatever is required to transact business,
in a desperate attempt to attract
� the attention of the man at the counter
who, in turn, enjoys the temporary
feeling of importance he gets from this anarchy.
Therefore,
if you are naive enough to appeal
� to the man at the counter to use
his power and authority to bring
� a semblance of sanity to this absolutely crazy situation,
you will be greeted with a look of
derision by not only this worthy
� but also the crowd.
Of course,
people may be standing one behind another;
but
� packed like sardines
with absolutely no space
in between as an abundant precaution against
� 'Q' jumpers.
http://www.funmunch.com/events/patricks/st_patricks_day_graphics/st_patricks_day_animated_gifs/st_patricks_day_animated_gif_2.gif
Near the counter,
you can invariably see three people,
� one on either side of the person
� transacting business through the pigeonhole.
� If you are not near the counter
� you will have no clue as to
who are the second and third persons in the 'Q'.
� But
it is here that a unique code
of conduct is put to great use.

The second person is the one
who has managed to squeeze
� in a part of his forearm or at least a couple
of fingers with money clutched in between
through the leftover space in the pigeonhole.

� The size of the leftover space
� is variable as it depends on the circumference
� of the forearm of the guy transacting business.
http://www.michaellariccia.com/images/blackmane-animation(500).gif
� The other guy is,
of course,
the third in the 'Q'.
When one transaction is over,
� the fourth guy will occupy the space
on the side vacated by the second person.

� This manoeuvre has to be executed
with great dexterity and lightning speed
� because
it also involves a competition
with the other guy, the third one,
� who had already been standing by
the side of the guy who had transacted business,
to get a share of the space in the pigeonhole.

� That is to say,
the fourth person
can become the second person
if he wins the struggle with the third person
to get the balance space in the pigeonhole.

Altercations
� have so embarrassed my wife
that she has stopped accompanying me
to places where one has to join a
'Q'.


http://www.steroidco.info/images3/animated.gif

Sriram Savarkar ©
Hinduism is more a way of life than a method of worship.
Dharmo Rakshati Rakshithaha
If you protect Dharma, Dharma will in turn protect you.
Hindus, If people slap you once, slap them twice!


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