:|: MHO :|: Yours truley mallu eh?

You might be a MALAYALI.... ......... If you can fit four passengers in  the front seat of an  Ambassador taxi,  while in the back  there are eight passengers and two children with their  heads stuck out of the window,  chances are,  you are a Mallu going to  attend your cousin's wedding. If you can run, ride a 100 cc motorbike without wearing a helmet, and play football , all while wearing a lungi tied halfmast, Malayali status! If you have more than 5 relatives working in Dubai,  Big Time Malayali.. If you have  the words "Chinchu Mol + Jinchu Mol" written on the rear window of your Omni car, Yes, You ARE a Malaayli. If you refer to your husband as kettiyon; ithiyan, pillerude appan,guess what? You're a  Central Travancore Syrian Christian Malayali. If you have a Tamilian parked in front of your house every Sunday,ironing your clothes , chances are a you are a Middle Class Malayali. If you  have more than three employee trade unions at your place of work then ask no further,  you are indeed a Malayali. If you  have at least two relatives working in the US in the health industry(Nursing! !!) , Yes!  Syrian Christian Malayali! If you religiously buy a lottery ticket every  week, then You're in the Malayali Zone! If you describe a woman as "charrakku/ Commodity " Yep! Malayali.! If you constantly refer to banana as "benana" or pizza as  "pissa" you're a Malayali.. If you use coconut oil  instead of  refined vegetable oil and can't figure  out why people in your family have congenital heart problems,you might be a Malayali. If you are going out to see a movie at the local theater with your wife wearing all the gold jewellery gifted to her by her parents, you are a newly married Malayali.. If you and your wife and three children dress up in your Sunday best and go out to have Malabar biriyani at Kayikka's on a 100 cc Bajaj mobike,you an upwardly mobile Malayali from Cochin . If your idea of haute cuisine is kappa and meen curry, then, yes, you are a Malayali.. If you have beef puttu for breakfast, beef olathu for lunch, and beef curry with "borotta"  for dinner, yeah, definitely Malalyali. If your name ANISH , and your wife's name is MOLY, and you name your son ANIMON, have no doubts at all , you are a standard Malayali. If most of the houses on your block are painted puke yellow, fluorescent green, and bright pink, definitely Malappuram Malayali. If you tie a towel around your head and burst into a raucous rendition of  the song "Kuttanaden Punjayile"  after having three glasses of toddy, then you are a  hardcore Malayali. If  you call appetizers served with alcoholic beverages as "touchings" then you are one  helluva Malayali. If you're sick and your wifey rubs "Bicks" into your nostrils and gives you "kurumulaku rasam" with chakkara, (grandma's recipe) to help relieve your symptoms, Damn!! You're Malayali. IF YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE REAL McCOY, A BLUE BLOOD MALAYALI.  LAAL SALAAM. All meant in fun, don't get all "SIMBLY AGITATED" and pass  it on so another Malayali can laugh

 

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With Best Regards..|||||||

E. P. Achuthan Kutty
also known as
Madhu Menon.

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